Yoga Bloke Life

​I first heard about Feng Shui from my wife. We bought a book on the subject, quite expensive at the time when we had little money, and from that time I have built an active appreciation of the benefits of this art. The best way I can describe my experience is when one day, shortly after our book purchase, I walked into a room arranged on Feng Shui principles. I will never forget the almost instant feeling of calmness that came over me combined with a desire to simply stay put in this beautiful room for a while – to draw energy and refresh my mind.

So what are the benefits of Feng Shui?

Well a good nights sleep is one (more on that later in this blog). Harmonising energy flows is another, and that makes us feel alive and open to possibilities. Creating calmness – removing clutter in your house helps remove clutter in your mind.

In business there have been numerous studies linking a new Feng Shui environment to increased turnover and profitability. An interior design company that doubled turnover, a hairdresser whose profits substantially rose after six months and a toy retailer nominated for toy shop of the year.

​Here are four simple Feng Shui changes that you can make to help you feel calmer, happier and open to the positivity in the world around us:

TWO: Electronics out of the bedroom

Your bedroom is a place for rest, to unwind, recharge and relax. Electromagnetic fields (EMFs) have been found to disrupt the natural energy flows in your body – affecting the nervous system and increasing stress. Insomnia, anxiety and depression have all ben linked to exposure to EMFs. Don’t compromise on this one. Leave your electronics out of the bedroom . . . period.​

FOUR: Lighten things up

Especially areas such as your main entry hall – very important in Fen Shui as it is through the front door that your house gets its Chi ( a Chinese word meaning aliveness, life force, energy or life breath – also known as Prana). It is for this reason, by the way, that you shouldn’t have a mirror facing your front door as it pushes all that good energy right back out the front door. Mirrors not facing the door are good though as is plenty of natural light – or failing that lamps or overhead spotlights. And also remember to de-clutter to create clean inviting lines.​

1. Hotel Rwanda: The true story of a hotel manager who saved the lives of 1,200 people in 1994 when a million Tutsi tribe members were massacred by members of the Hutu tribe. Paul Rusesabagina isn’t your classic Hollywood hero, but he is a hero nevertheless. A mesmerising film which shows how a normal hotel manager can find the inner strength and courage to stand tall in what must have seemed an impossible situation.
2. The Help: Set during the American civil rights movement of the 1960s a “society girl” Skeeter becomes a writer and decides to write about the black women taking care of prominent white families. Its incredible to think that attitudes like this existed at this time (I was born in the 60s). The courage of these women to come forward and tell their stories with humility and humour is what makes this movie amazing for me. I just loved it.
3. Erin Brokovich: Regardless of the fact I have an absolute love of Julia Roberts, this movie is just brilliant. It’s the story of a tenacious young lawyer, struggling as a single mother, standing up for the rights of a community affected by pollution from a local power company. The movie is as much about the deep bonds forged between Erin and local families as getting the right result in the end. Almost made me want to become a lawyer . . .
4. Schindlers List: There have been a lot of movies about selfless acts of heroism in the Second World War. But Schindlers List sits at the top of the pile for me. Oskar Schindler was a German businessman who saved the lives of more than a thousand Jewish refugees, during the horror of the Holocaust, by employing them in his factories. At the end of the movie we meet some of the real life descendants of the Jews on Schindler’s list – I don’t think there was a dry eye in the house.
5. Intouchables: A movie about a growing friendship between wealthy businessman and quadriplegic Philippe and his carer Driss. Philippe has a lust for life, which must be the envy of most able-bodied people. Driss has a criminal record and doesn’t believe he can do the job of a carer, and it is his unconventional methods, which light up Phillip’s life. Both men help the other – and the ending is wonderful. When it was released in 2011 this film quickly became the second biggest box office hit ever in France.
6. Ghandi: A movie about one remarkable man, Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, the leader of India’s non-violence independence movement against British rule of India during the first part of the twentieth century. The campaign generated enough pressure on Britain to final grant Indian independence after World War 2. One great quote from the movie . . . “When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it. Always”.
7. The Blind Side: This movie is about an incredible woman, Leigh Anne Tuohy, who invites a troubled teenager, Michael Oher, into her family home and eventually becomes Michael’s legal guardian. Leigh Anne helps Michael through college and eventually become an American football player. Sandra Bullock won the Academy Award for best actress in this film.
8. Dead Poets Society: Robin Williams plays the role of John Keating who teaches at Welton Academy, an elite boarding school for boys. Keating uses unusual teaching methods to inspire the boys through poetry. He tells them to “make your lives extraordinary” and uses the Latin expression carpe diem – seize the day. The tragic death of a student prompts the school to fire Keating. However the amazing last scene demonstrates how those boys’ lives have been touched forever by this extraordinary man.
9. Patch Adams: Another Robin Williams movie about a truly unconventional doctor who uses humour and compassion to car for patients. He turns an old cottage into a clinic, while still at medical school, and treats those without medical insurance to a cocktail of care and laughter. When the medical school finds out and tries to expel him he argues about the need to treat people’s “spirit” as well as the body. It all ends well of course.
10. The First Grader: When free primary school education is announced by the Kenyan government, they couldn’t have imagined an 84 year old ex Mau Mau freedom fighter, Kimani Maruge, would turn up at his local school. The story becomes front-page news, prompting the Education Board to over rule the passionate school principal Jane Obinchu. She successfully however allows Maruge to return as her teaching assistant. A film about real courage and perseverance. Absolutely heart warming.

If I said all it took was ten minutes a day to de-stress and relax you would probably think this was yet another “get well quick” scheme requiring minimal effort and instant results. And I would have agreed with you . . . a few years ago.

I have a busy life. I am the breadwinner for the family. I work hard and I tend to fill my days with things to do. I hadn’t considered myself stressed, but then again I wasn’t an impartial observer watching me hurry from one thing to the other. So when my wife suggested we go to a meditation course together, to be honest the idea didn’t really light my candle.

The Medical Dictionary defines meditation as a practice of concentrated focus upon a sound, object, visualization, the breath, movement, or attention itself in order to increase awareness of the present moment, reduce stress, promote relaxation, and enhance personal and spiritual growth.

Meditation practice isn’t new. Its hard to know when it first started, but its more than hundreds of years ago. I think a lot of us associate meditation with robe-clad monks sitting on a hilltop chanting. So I was pleasantly surprised to find two completely normal looking guys greet us at our first meditation class.

Meditation is really about being present and clearing your thoughts. Some say its thinking about nothing. And that is not easy.

1. The idea is to completely relax in a seated position that suits you. You don’t have to sit cross-legged on the floor – on a chair is fine.




2. In our class we then were encouraged to imagine a river in a peaceful setting and when thoughts came into our mind to “throw” them into the river and let them wash away. Or to imagine a sky with clouds, each cloud being a thought which we could add to – and that the clouds would disperse leaving an expanse of blue . . .




3. Next comes awareness of your breathing. In and out of the nose. Try it now – close your eyes for a few moments and just notice your breath. In an out – say for 10 times. It’s a clever way of focusing your thoughts on the present and taking them away from things in the past or jobs you have to do.




4. Our instructors then encouraged us to focus on our heart and imagine a light – and that light becoming brighter when we breathed in and darker when we breathed out.




5. And once you have the picture of the light in your chest, the idea then is to imagine that light spreading to the rest of your body, and then to the room you are in (you can go on and on until it becomes a whole universe light thing but I found that too hard to imagine).




6. Then its reversing the process – bringing the light in from the room, to our body and then your heart. Starting to become aware again of the room you are in (its amazing how you can “forget” where you are during meditation) and finally opening your eyes and emerging back into the crazy, rough and tumble world we live in.

​According to the Art of Living website the benefits of meditation are:

Mental:

• • Anxiety decreases
  • Emotional stability improves
  • Creativity increases
  • Happiness increases
  • Intuition develops
  • Gain clarity and peace of mind
  • Problems become smaller
  • Meditation sharpens the mind by gaining focus and expands through relaxation
  • A sharp mind without expansion causes tension, anger and frustration

According to Wikipedia, Serotonin is a monoamine neurotransmitter. Biochemically derived from tryptophan, serotonin is primarily found in the gastrointestinal tract, blood platelets, and the central nervous system of animals, including humans.

Medical News Today is a bit more helpful and tells us that serotonin carries signals along and between nerves (that’s the “neurotransmitter” bit). It is responsible for maintaining mood balance, and that a deficit of serotonin leads to depression.

Antidepressants are one way of increasing the levels of serotonin in the brain. But there are other natural ways to either replace the use of antidepressants, or to help them work more effectively.

If there is one thing that the northern Scandinavian countries lack in winter, it is sunlight. Science Nordic has a great article about lack of sunlight and how to counteract the “winter blues”. Its reasonably well known that the body struggles to produce vitamin D without exposure to the sun. But the sun also activates light-sensitive nerve cells, which stimulates the production of serotonin. The answer is pretty simple – get more light in your life, particularly in the morning. Make the place where you have breakfast well lit – light on the walls and on the table, rather than soft lighting and candles . . .

There is also some evidence that exercise can boost serotonin levels. Check out the Livestrong website for a good article on exercise and its effect on serotonin.

But diet is the area I am personally attracted to at the moment. Healthline.com has a good article on foods that could boost your serotonin levels. But there is a catch . . . The article says its not Serotonin that is found in food, but tryptophan – and its not as simple as eating a high trypothan diet. Apparently the trypothan in your food has to compete with other amino acids to be absorbed into your brain.

​So here goes, as recommended by Healthline:
​
​• Eggs (but don’t leave out the yolks)
• Cheese
• Pineapples
• Tofu
• Salmon
• Nuts and seeds

Today I listened to an inspirational TED talk.

Melati and Isabel Wijsen go to the Green School in Bali. I visited the adjoining Green Village only a couple of weeks ago and so I pricked up my ears. Anyway, one day these girls learned about significant people at school. People like Mother Theresa and Mahatma Gandhi. And on the way home the girls discussed why they couldn’t be significant right now. Why should they wait until they grew up?

These girls were only 10 and 12 when they started. They said they had no business plan but one hell of a vision. They decided to harness the “boundless energy” of themselves and their friends and “act” the change they wanted to happen. How inspirational and brave is that!

Their campaign “Bye Bye Plastic Bags” is now recognised internationally as one of the most successful conservation movements around. And they now have a commitment from the Government that Bali will be plastic bag free by 2018.

I loved the way these girls talked and presented themselves on the TED video. You could see how much they were loving what they were doing and how proud they were of themselves and each other. I am truly inspired – plastic bags are now being phased out of our lives. And I think I have learned a lot about having the courage to simply do what is the right thing.

You know how people say, “you are what you eat”. So I decided to do some reading on this topic and clicked on a great article about ripe bananas (of all things) from the “Power of Positivity” site.

I have always been attracted to bananas. I have always known they are a great energy food. They often get handed out at the end of endurance events and I have perked myself up many a time mid bike-ride.

But there is much more to the simple banana than I first thought.

The article starts with the proposition that . . . “Bananas are easily one of the healthiest, nutrient-packed foods on the planet, and contain more potassium than any other food.”

Apparently bananas contain a healthy amount of antioxidants as well as “Tumor Necrosis Factor” which is a cancer fighter. The more ripe the banana the higher the anti cancer properties. For people with depression, bananas also contain high levels of trypothan which then converts into seretonin – hence alleviating the symptoms of depression.

But that’s not all. Eating bananas:

Gives you more energy;
• Helps with weight loss;
• Are great for the brain;
• Help to balance your homones;
• Alleviate heartburn;
• Lower blood pressure and keep your blood healthy;
• Are great for your bones;
• Treat stomach ulcers;
• Can cure hangovers;
• Alleviate constipation; and
• Enhance memory

Another great article – “12 Foods Happy People Eat”. Bananas get a mention of course – but also blueberies, acai berries, greens, nuts and seeds etc.

Also check out Mind.org.uk website where they explore the relationship between what you eat and how you feel.

I agree – I know what foods make me feel bloated and tired (junk and highly processed food) and I know what food makes me feel lighter and more energised (yes bananas of course, but also things like sushi, fish and salads). If I am not sure about something I close my eyes and imagine how I will feel 20 minutes after eating something – your body will always give you the right answer!

But this all changes when he meets a former classmate who talks him into participating in a self-help program led by the guru Terrence Bundley. The course is entitled (of course) “Yes Man”, the basic principle being to say “yes” to new situations.

The film is intentionally comedic, in that Carl ends up saying yes to absolutely everything, which results in him being placed in some situations which would scare the hell out of me. But the end result shows Carl with a completely changed attitude and living a great new life. And yes he gets a nice girl (this is Hollywood after all).

So I thought that this was something I would give a go. No I didn’t set out to say yes to absolutely every situation, but I definitely ended up saying yes much more often. I learned a lot about myself during this process.

I learned that things will work themselves out. And this is important because saying yes comes with risks (as opposed to saying no which is often risk-free). Tina Fey said “Say yes and you will figure it out afterwards”. What a great quote. And its true. My example comes from a recent project at work when we talked as a team about the demands we were getting from others in the organisation. The obvious solution was to say no more often, because after all this would involve less work and less risk. However the conversation turned itself round to focus on how we could better manage the outcomes of saying yes. And immediately the mood picked up. We talked about ourselves as a team people liked to deal with. A team that got things done. And a team that would have the confidence to work out how to deliver that which we had said yes to. I will never forget the buzz that conversation generated . . .

I also learned another important lesson. And that is, its OK to say no sometimes. Hang on, I hear you say. Isn’t this going against the grain of the story? Well not really because the more I have been saying yes to opportunities, the more confident I have become in saying no to stuff that I know in my heart isn’t right for me. My no has a confident ring about it because I have become better at saying yes. Trust me, its hard to put into words but you will get it when you become more of a yes person.

I have definitely become a happier and more confident person saying yes more often. I have learned to have faith in my ability to work things out. And when I need to say no, it’s a whole lot better feeling . . .

There is certainly a lot going on and being talked about on the subject of mindfulness. I have to admit when I first heard the term it didn’t quite make sense. Like isn’t everyone “mindful” . . . on the basis we all have a mind? And so therefore isn’t this just some new fad based on something entirely obvious and everyday?

Wikipedia, in their dry but admittedly learned way, defines mindfulness as the intentional, accepting and non-judgemental focus of one’s attention on the emotions, thoughts and sensations occurring in the present moment.

And there you have it, in those last three Wikipedia generated words. “In the present moment”. That, to me, is what mindfulness is all about.

Here’s a question. What are you thinking about right now? Maybe something you have planned next, tomorrow, next week? Something someone said to you yesterday? A new item for the shopping list, or the lyrics of a song that is playing on the radio? Mindfulness says what you should actually be focusing in is the “right here, right now”. The words on the screen, their texture, their meaning, their flow and their effect on you . . . in other words, being in the present moment.

Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn developed Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center for patients suffering from pain. He came up with an incredibly simple but effective exercise, which anyone can try to experience mindfulness. If you have five minutes right now, all you need is a raisin and a quiet space to sit.

The idea is that you place a raisin in your hand. The thing most of us would do next is to pop into our mouths and move onto the next thing. But no, not this time. Your job is to observe it. Just look and see the texture, the bumps, the colour, and the glossiness. Bring it to your nose and smell it. How does it feel in your hand? Now place it into your mouth and swirl it around. Can you feel the texture with your tongue? Chew just once, and observe the very first taste. Take your time and eventually chew some more before swallowing. Keep sitting and think about how your body feels with the raisin now ingested.

Well done. You have now experienced mindfulness. And now imagine what your life would be like if you employed this behaviour more often? At work when listening to a colleague, try experiencing observing their face, their lips, and their body movements. At home, sitting on the couch without turning the television or radio on. Just observe for five minutes. Listen to the sound of the world around you, the feel of the couch, the smells in the air and the cadence of your own breath.

My personal favourite is my mindfulness walk. The idea is that you are totally silent (and so if you have a walking partner you both need to abide by the rules!). Instead of taking steps to get somewhere, feel each step as you place your feet on the ground (bare feet is great if the weather and terrain permit). Look at the environment you pass. Each branch, each tree leaf, the clouds, grass or asphalt . . . Feel your breathing and empty your thoughts of everything expect where you are and what you are doing right now.

Mindfulness has had a major effect on my life. I feel more grounded, calmer and more aware of the world around me. I increasingly have a sense of accomplishing more meaningful and worthwhile things in my life. My sense of mindfulness doesn’t slow me down (which if I am honest is what I feared); instead it creates focus and direction.

So wherever you are or whatever your situation in life, I am wondering if you can commit to an act of mindfulness. Each day for a week. And then observe how you feel.

I am betting you will never look at a raisin the same way again . . .

I have to admit, the term “mission statement” sounds reasonably dull. Like isn’t that what companies do, at the front of those glossy brochures which nobody reads? But bear with me . . . this gets pretty cool.

On the last afternoon of the course, we were let loose for two hours with a blank sheet of paper to write our own personal mission statements. For the first half hour (or maybe hour) I employed my usual bag of distraction tricks. I really did need to chew on that pen for a while. And what was that I needed to do when I got home that evening? However after giving myself a stern talking to, I put pen to paper, forgot about the world around me, and words started to flow.

And the result was absolutely amazing. I came home on a cloud that day because for the first time I had described me as the person I honestly wanted to be. I still carry that page around today. My life has moved on but the things I talked about are still relevant today. Things like being jumping out of bed each day full of ideas and enthusiasm, making work an extension of who I am (not the other way around), being best mates with my wife and mentor to my girls.

First step: Identify your core values

Roy Disney said “Its not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are” . . . Your values define you as a person. They guide (often subconsciously) your actions and reactions, beliefs, outlook on life. We are all different and we all have values, which are individually important to us at different times in our life. Some might value honesty, others sustainability, perseverance, risk taking. The list is endless.

The object of this exercise is to identify those values that are absolutely fundamental in your life. I chose six. I arrived at that number by brainstorming a “long list” of values and separating those out between those that were “sort of” important to me, strongly important and those that I simply could not imagine living without.

Your core values are enduring. They may excite and uplift you. They will probably feel natural and you may well have felt them as a child (and still do). Beware transitory things that seem like values but often aren’t. If there is urgency attached or if you need it to get somewhere else, it may not be one of your core values.

Second step: Answer some blood pumping questions

This step is all about casting your mind free. You are in a place where nobody will judge you, where money isn’t an issue and where everything is possible. Answer some (or all) of the following questions . . .

I have dreamed like this. Many times. I used to work fifty hours a week for forty-eight weeks a year in a job which was . . . well sort of OK. But it was all right because, hey I was off on holiday soon. Thirty-eight days and counting in fact. And tomorrow morning it would be thirty-seven and a half. We hay!

Nah. That’s not right. The quote at the top of this blog has it pretty well right and so its worth repeating.

Instead of wondering when our next vacation is, we should set up a life we don’t need to escape from: Seth Godin

Its so tempting to make excuses about the lives we lead. And taking holidays is the absolute ultimate in excuse making. And don’t get me wrong. Holidays are a really great thing but not when they create a mask over the life you are really leading.

Someone once said to me: think of what you really love doing and make it your job. Yes it is aspirational and yes I know it may not seem immediately practical. But just stop for a minute, close you eyes and dream. Dream of a life without constraints . . . where you have unlimited choice . . . where money doesn’t matter . . . and where nobody will judge you. What would you do? And now open you eyes and write down what you just thought of.

I was inspired earlier this week via a facebook message from a friend. This friend also had a dream, about starting a company focusing on positivity. He gave up his day job, worked and worked and worked, hooked up with partners, started a website and cold called company after company. Well anyway, the message earlier this week was prompted by three firm orders, all on the same day. The hard work had paid off, and more importantly the courageous leap from a safe job to doing something this friend really loved had come to fruition.

So what did you dream, and what did you write down? Is it really so impractical . . .????

1. If money or location were irrelevant – what would your ultimate dream job be?
2. You have just won a competition for an all expenses paid trip to anywhere in the world – 1 month – you get to choose – where would you go?
3. If you could join the Board and direct efforts of one charitable organisation, which one would you choose?
4. Who do you most admire? 
5. What did you do in the last year that you were incredibly proud of?
6. What would you do if you knew nobody would judge you?
7. You have won $10 million. What is the first thing you would do?
8. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
9. You get the chance to train as a teacher – what would you teach?
10. You have a month at a cottage in the mountains – no telephone, no internet, no neighbours, no shops – what would you do?
11. Your friends are asked to say what they like about you in a confidential survey – what do you think they would say
12. What made you smile today?

There was the usual pen chewing and distractions to deal with of course, and then I attempted the first question . . . and then the second . . . and then there was no stopping me. And I realized a common theme was emerging – what I wanted my life to look like if I had the courage to get over my fears.

And the result was amazing. I came home on a cloud that day because for the first time I had described me as the person I honestly wanted to be. I felt happy just thinking about it.

I still carry that page around today. I looked at it last week. My life has moved on but the things I talked about are still relevant today. I like to think I have taken some risks in life and done some stuff which has inspired me but still scares me. Like starting this website for instance.

Take some time today, or even right now. Answer some of the questions – instinctively and honestly. And start to dream. Because we only have one shot at this big, bold and beautiful time on earth we have been given.

Dare to live a life that scares you a little!

The simple part is that appreciative inquiry is all about positivity. Focusing on what your organisation is doing right and then building on these strengths. Sounds sensible and logical?

OK then, but here comes the slightly scary bit. With appreciative enquiry, the “problems” in your organisation are effectively ignored – the principle being that if you do more of the things you are good at, the problems will sort themselves out. Put another way, appreciative inquiry suggests that you can create change by paying attention to what you want rather than paying attention to problems.
People find this part a little scary because we are used to solving problems. We like to fix things. So the concept of not focusing on problems may put some of us out of our comfort zone.

A great example of appreciative inquiry comes in the context of staff culture surveys. You know – the kind that ask you how much you like your working environment, how much you rate your managers and colleagues, whether you understand your organisation’s mission, how well managers communicate with staff etc. In most places I have worked, teams generally then get set up to “solve” the top ranking “concerns” from survey results. They huddle, work out an approach, implement a set of actions and report back to staff. Commendable and well meaning.

But appreciative inquiry turns that thinking on its head and says – instead of focusing on problems you should focus on thetop ranking survey outcomes. So for instance if staff like the monthly “all hands” meeting with the CEO, think about how you can do that even better. Or if the way the organisation communicates with its customers is admired, think about how you can improve that another notch.

The research seems to point strongly to suggest those organisations with a positive culture focused on building on their strengths outperform those with a more traditional “fix the problems” approach. I’m not sure anyone needed to do that research – doesn’t that sound intuitively right?

We can use the concept of appreciative inquiry in our personal lives. My example is my daughter’s school reports. If you are like me, you will know how tempting it is to head straight for the areas where they have been marked lower, or where the comments are less positive. Your eyes almost get hijacked.

So I have made it a rule, every time, to first look at and talk about the areas where they have done well. I spend 80 to 90% of my time talking about these areas with them.

And the interesting thing is that you actually achieve a whole lot more with this approach. Not only do they love you for putting there good marks first, but the conversation at the end on the more difficult stuff becomes so much easier. By talking first about what they had done well I was amazed at how forthcoming they became about what they hadn’t.

So out of the mouths of babes – to multi national corporations. The principle is the same. Focus on what you do well and do more of it. It will get you further in life, and its a whole lot more fun . . .

I recently came across a site called Oompher (www.oompher.com) – which of course comes from word “oomph” meaning energy, vitality or enthusiasm. 

But perhaps the real story is the person behind Oompher – a 19 year old called Jake Millar from Greymouth. Jake’s father was tragically killed in a plane crash on the Fox Glacier (in New Zealand’s Southern Alps). Jake is quoted as saying “My dad’s death really brought home the fact that you can be living life to the full one minute, then gone the next – so there’s no use wasting time on things you don’t absolutely love.”

Wow that’s pretty inspiring. We often hear of people in life who do amazing things following something traumatic such as a near death experience – and voice similar reasons for achieving what they do.

The site has been in the news recently as Jake has sold the business to Careers New Zealand, part of the New Zealand Government. I say this is a smart move from the Government as this market is a traditionally tough nut to crack. A site produced for young people by one of their peers must have a greater than even chance of success.

Young people coming out of school often lack someone, with whom they can relate, to provide advice and guidance on what to do next. The figures for first year drop-outs from university or technical college are still high. And how many of us can trace our lives and careers back to decisions we made when we left school? Its an important time for young people – and worthy of serious and considered investment by Governments everywhere.

For someone so young, what Jake has achieved is extraordinary. Not many nineteen year olds would have the courage and vision to cold call a business leader and successfully talk them into making a video. And so the quality and quantity of excellent videos on the site is a testament to this young man.

I suspect his father would have been pretty proud . . .

1. 1. Be Brilliant Everyday: by Andy Cope & Andy Whittaker. A great read – and one of my motivators in life. The book is written simply and uses humour to get points across – and hence an incredibly easy and enjoyable read. One of the key themes I liked – the book isn’t about changing who you are but more about bringing out the person you already are when you’re at your brilliant best. “Because that’s what the world needs. Too many people are conforming to what they think the world needs whereas the reality is what the world needs is simply the awesome version of you.”
   2. Eat, Pray, Love: by Elizabeth Gilbert. Probably better known for the Julia Roberts movie, the book tells the story of the author’s decision to leave the modern trappings of life in America to find what she really wants out of life. Loved it . . .
   3. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: by Stephen Covey. I actually went on a 7 habits course first and then read the book. Its like one of those aha moments when you realise that everything is possible with a bit of focus, discipline and, of course, adopting the right habits. I wrote my first mission statement after reading this excellent book.
   4. Losing my Virginity: by Richard Branson. Inspiring and motivating – a story of one man’s drive to break down mediocrity and to seek and do what made him happy. To me, the lessons learned were not so much about business success, but more the attitude of giving stuff a go – wholeheartedly, without fear and with a whole lot of fun.
   5. The Secret: by Rhonda Byrne. This book wasn’t so much life changing for me – more affirming what I hope I already believe and practice. Thoughts become things – or put another way, what you think and believe has an uncanny habit of turning out to be true. Simple but very very powerful.
   6. Who Moved My Cheese: by Spencer Johnson. A must for anyone going through change in their personal or professional lives. An inspirational book which brings out the positivity of change – change always happens and you can make it work with the right frame of mind. Simple to read – you will be done in a couple of hours. My favourite quote – “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”
   7. Freedom in Exile: The Autobiography of the Dalai Lama: by Dalai Lama XIV: An absolutely incredible insight into Tibet and the life of the Dalai Lama. If you want to know what humility and compassion are really about – read this book.
   8. Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking: by Malcolm Gladwell. This book is about trusting your intuition – the feeling you get when you first experience, see or feel something. More often than not you will be proved absolutely right. I liked the story about the antiquities expert who spotted a fake (which had been purchased by a museum on the back of exhaustive analysis)  in an instant. I use the concepts in this book in my everyday life. If it “smells” right, do it!
   9. The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity: by Julia Cameron. This one is about opening up your creativity. The reader is taken through a series of programmed exercises which, if you do it by the book, will take 12 weeks. Its written for artists but can be applied to anyone, so don’t be put off by the title. I absolutely loved the daily writing each morning.
   10. Fathers Raising Daughters: by Nigel Latta. A fabulous book for Dads with daughters – written simply, honestly and with a great deal of common sense. I laughed out loud in the first chapter and couldn’t put it down after that. This book helped me understand why teenage girls act like they do – and hopefully has led me to be a happier, better father. Also by Nigel Latta – Mothers Raising Sons (I haven’t read it but has great reviews).

• • Doing stuff that makes them happy.  I’m not talking about buying presents or stuffing them with sweets, I’m talking about little things like having a tickle fight with my youngest daughter or shooting hoops or reading stories.
  • Just spending time – going on walks, practicing sport, lying on their bed after lights out while they talk about whatever’s on their mind.
  • Listening – stopping what I am doing to hear whatever it is that they are bursting to tell me when they get home from school.  I mean really listening and engaging in their conversation about what is important to them.
  • Praising them genuinely and being an honest (but gentle) critic when I can help them to improve.
  • Considering little requests before responding.  A short ride on my shoulders is a small inconvenience for the amount of pleasure it can bring.
  • Being Mr Reasonable when we don’t agree – by not raising my voice to win an argument with my volume or size, not reacting to faces and mimicking and never belittling them or being mean-spirited. 

 But this is not just an idea.  I made it real by sharing my goal with my family and I writing down what I am going to do differently.  This commitment means I can easily measure myself against my ideals and hold myself to account if I don’t measure up.  

It is so easy to let aspects of our lives get into cruise mode – work, sport, money, relationships – but it is only when we step back and take an honest and critical look at where we are cruising to that we can decide whether we are on the right course – or not.  If not, it’s time to switch off the autopilot, clearly define where we want to be and make a real and achievable plan – how to get to the destination we choose.

For me it was the stopping, and taking stock of how a critically important aspect of my life was not living up to my expectations, that opened my eyes to how things could be better.  But it was also the realisation that if I wanted things to improve, it was up to me to make the change. 

I read a great piece on Facebook the other day. Entitled “10 Courageous Ways to Live Life Without Regrets” Google it – its great. Anyway one of the “10 ways” really resonated with me, and that is about following your intuition. Fearlessly.

Not so long I ago I was a General Manager at one of New Zealand’s Government Agencies. Apparently I had made it. I had aspired to be a General Manager for a number of years and now here I was – people reporting to me, a few million in the annual budget under my watch, great team, decent salary, leading national programmes.

All sounding good? Well not really. Because I didn’t FEEL it. My usual sniff test is pretty reliable, that being to run a quick scan the very moment I opened my eyes in bed in the morning. How do I feel? A sense of tingling satisfaction, stretching with energy, a mindful and still sense of well-being, jumping-out-bed-raring-to-go . . . ? No – none of these, well anyway not nearly enough.

I felt, at my very core, this just wasn’t me. The culture of the place was far away from that which I had always aspired to, I felt responsible for keeping people happy (as opposed to being in an environment where they could easily do that themselves). I felt disengaged and slightly powerless to make a difference. And, to be honest, I think my intuition had told me this at the time I made the decision to join the organisation.

So I was faced with a choice. Start slowly to look around for another opportunity, similar role and pay . . . OR go out contracting. Going back to making things happen. Building stuff, getting my hands dirty, building culture within a project environment, short and sharp and meaningful.

The problem was, to do the latter I would need to resign with nothing to go to. Contract work relies on people being available at short notice. It often comes up, particularly change management projects, when things aren’t going to plan and the business needs to quickly turn stuff around. If you need to arrange a few weeks notice with your employer, you can forget about it. I also had a mortgage (still do) and responsibilities as the bread winner of the family.

To cut a long story short, I woke up one morning and scanned my body a different way. I asked myself – is this the right thing for me? I went into work, handed in my notice and communicated my decision to the team. Hardest thing to do. I cried a bit that day. But that decision was also one of the best I have ever made. I went from being unhappy and powerless one day to feeling energised and powerful the next. I had done what, to many, might seem foolhardy, but to me seemed absolutely 100% right.

Three years later, i am leading my second major change programme in the public sector. I have met and worked with some amazing people, had the privileged opportunity to change culture from within, achieved some stuff people thought couldn’t be done. And had a pretty darn good time. Oh and I have earned more money than my GM days – thats worth mentioning but not as important to me as the other stuff I mentioned earlier.

So I guess I followed my intuition three years ago. I am not sure about the “fearlessly” bit, but it certainly wasn’t without some trepidation on my part. I listened to me soul and did what I felt was the right thing. And it all worked out.

And it always will . . . .

I posted an article about the health benefits of biking onto my facebook page recently.

Apparently scientists assessed the functions of more than 120 regular cyclists aged between 55 and 79 and failed to find any of the obvious signs of ageing that they would normally observe among people of the same age.

I had forgotten about the article when I accepted an invitation to join a friend to cycle the Mangaparua track – which for those of you who don’t know, is a 38km stunningly beautiful ride which ends at the famous Bridge to Nowhere. This bridge, as an aside, was built at a time when expectations were high about settlement in this area close to the Wanganui River. Needless to say town planning wasn’t what is is now – and the bridge has ended up in . . . well, the middle of nowhere.

Anyway, I asked my daughter to come along and before we knew it our group had climbed to five. We took our time, had a number of rest stops, and basically had an absolutely magnificent day. The riding was reasonably tough – not so much the uphill bits which were pretty gentle, but more the downhill sections which were fairly rutted from previous rain and activity.

I came off once . . . Ok I came off three times, one of which resulted in a bit of blood. But my feeling at the time was one of pure enjoyment. The physicality of the riding, the comradeship, being with my daughter – all combined to make this a wonderful day. I have a slight muscle ache now – but if anything its bringing back those moments of joy in the middle of the bush in this beautiful country.

I think I am a person that suits harder physical exercise. I felt uplifted, confident and calm as I drove back to Wellington. We visited a few towns on the way back down and I bought a very cool Balinese style chair – something I wouldn’t normally have done on the spur of the moment.

I think those scientists are on the mark . . .

“Wherever you are be all there” 
Jim Elliot

Years ago, when I was at university, I had a holiday job on a farm in Otago. One of my enduring memories was a fridge magnet which said “Life is Not a Rehearsal for Living”. Its funny how something which resonates with you comes back again and again.

OK so I haven’t read the Power of Now but I have heard of Eckhart Tolle and like what he has to say. The concept of living in the moment, is on the face of it, complete common sense. Being present and savouring what you are doing and feeling right now is surely a good thing? But if you are anything like me you just can’t help thinking about something else. Distractions are usually what gets me . . . something on the radio in the background, a ding on my mobile, a thought about what I have to do that afternoon – or tomorrow – or anytime.

Letting go of worries about the future is one of the things I always need to be mindful of. I am a bread winner in my family and I think of myself as a supporter for others. I draw a certain strength from the fact that I care for and look after people – my family, My friends, people at work. And so I feel responsible and therefore look to the future all the time to think about what’s coming up . . . what do I need to accomplish . . . ? 

Meditation has been great for me. I did a course on meditation some time ago and loved it. I feel calm, relaxed and centred when I meditate. Meditation is all about letting your thoughts go and just being. You acknowledge your thoughts (ignoring them just doesn’t work) and let them go like clouds drifting off into the sky . . . or like eddies in a stream. You focus on your breath and after a while you fall into this deep sense of relaxation. Its powerful.

Living a busy life and being in the now is always going to be a challenge for me. My eldest daughter, one of my mentors in life, is particularly good at being present. So I am going to take steps to be more present, more centred and more in the now. 

” We think what we become.” Buddha

Some time ago I read a book by Jamie McIntyre. Jamie is this slightly annoying Australian self help guru – a sort of Antipodean Tony Robbins if you can imagine that.

Anyway after that somewhat derisory introduction, a lot of what this guy said made sense – about living life, opportunities, happiness and money. But there was one particular thing that stood out and has stayed with me ever since. And that is about taking regular time out.

Believe it or not, Jamie takes a week out every month to reflect on stuff. Well that was at the time of writing his book. His ethos is that this helps him grow, both spiritually and financially. By taking regular time off he can evaluate where he is going in life and therefore help to keep him on track to achieve his goals. 

I’ not sure whether this is an extreme example. But I love the philosophy. Years ago I planned a time out weekend. Just for me. Off I went to stay in a country cottage about an hour from where I live. I developed a strict regimen of thinking, exercising, planning my life. meditation etc etc. And I absolutely adored it. I came back on a high. My mission statement was refreshed (refer to earlier post) and I had developed a plan of action for the next few weeks. I felt centred and calm. And I vowed to make this a regular event.

Well rather than chastise myself for not following through with my vow, instead I am already planning my next time out event. Just for me. To reflect, think, dream and plan. I like what Edward de Bono says about needing to break out of established patterns to fuel our creativity. It only requires a determination and will to make it happen.

Have you ever heard of the big rocks small stones theory . . . ? Well it goes like this. You have a bucket – and beside the bucket you have a pile of rocks, a pile of pebbles, a pot of sand and  jug of water. Your aim is to get all of them into the bucket. So how do you do that? Well the short answer is that you do it by putting the rocks in first, then the pebbles which mould themselves into the gaps the rocks leave, then the sand and then the water.

Its an imitation of life – and its basically saying that you need to figure out and do your big rocks first – not last.

Well I am the master at doing the sand and the pebbles first. I know jolly well what my big rocks are, but I just cant help putting things like doing the washing, watering the garden, tidying and other pebble/sand like things in front of doing the big things which I know have meaning. 

This Nike logo is wonderful. Its so simple and so powerful. Its not wordy or overly clever – and you can apply it anytime, anywhere and in any situation.

For me its about not putting things off anymore. Not waiting till things get easier, or more convenient – not waiting till the sun shines or until I am feeling “in the mood”.

I am starting to “just do it” by starting this website and writing this blog. Because this is my big rock. And I feel great just sitting here typing.

This post is a about observing yourself. That’s all. Just observing. When I went to a life coach a number of years ago this is what he advised I do from day one. Well that didn’t seem very powerful. What was I going to get out of that? I wanted action. Lists and exercises and things that I could act on right away.

But the act of self-observation was one of best things I ever did. What worked for me was to imagine myself hovering above myself and just looking and noting. The point was not to act or correct, but to simply view myself dispassionately as I went about my daily life.

In some cases I felt pretty good about what I saw. I liked how I reacted to some things. In other cases I felt not so good – almost ashamed. Until then I had no real idea how was acting and behaving – mostly out of the spotlight of others and in my own private moments I saw myself becoming frequently frustrated. I would have thoughts and act in ways I would shudder to witness or contemplate in others.

It was a breath of fresh air – like seeing myself for the first time in the raw. No pretending or acting. And did it help me? Yes absolutely. I am better at observing myself more often and “catching” myself when I slip into behavior I don’t like. Like the other day for instance I was driving to work and becoming impatient with slower drivers (I have always been like this if I am honest). But I was able to observe and stop my behavior by asking myself some pretty basic questions.

Here they are:

1. Will this choice propel me toward an inspiring future or will it keep me stuck in the past?
2. Will this choice bring me long-term fulfillment or will it bring me short-term gratification?
3. Am I standing in my power or am I trying to please another?
4. Am I looking for what’s right or am I looking for what’s wrong?
5. Will this choice add to my life force or will it rob me of my energy?
6. Will I use this situation as a catalyst to grow and evolve or will I use it to beat myself up?
7. Does this choice empower me or does it disempower me?
8. Is this an act of self-love or is it an act of self-sabotage?
9. Is this an act of faith or is it an act of fear?
10. Am I choosing from my divinity or am I choosing from my humanity?

I think I am happy. Well aren’t I?

I have money. I have a nice house and live in a seaside suburb. I have daughters and a wife – they are healthy, intelligent and successful. I have a good job – people say i am good at what I do and earn good money. People seem to like me and say I am a good person.

So if I am happy, how come:

• I sigh a lot
• I frequently get frustrated
• I don’t whole heartedly enjoy the success of others and secretly think their success is either lucky, not deserved or transitory
• I espouse giving but don’t do much of it
• I fill my life with jobs which give me a sense of short term achievement
• I save money when I have lots of it
• I am lonely

So I have set myself a goal of starting this website and blogging about stuff that inspires me – like happiness. Not the usual trite consultant speak about what happiness is – but getting real about how I can turn my life around. And live a life that makes me jump out of bed each morning..

Wow – thats wasn’t so hard was it? Blog one over and out.